Tag Archives: garden

For the first time in about 8 years….

I did a craft!  Notice the excitement in my tone?  That’s right, I, the most unsuccessful, least crafty mom you will ever meet, did a craft!  AND, not just one craft, but 3!

Now, this may not seem like a big deal to most mommies.  In fact, it’s pretty common within the mommy-community.  But like I said before, I have never been your typical SAHM mom.  Even when I was a SAHM with just two kids, the most I ever did was decorate cookies, and they were usually the Pillsbury ones that are already cut out with the frosting that looks like toothpaste (I cringe as I actually admit to that).  And I’m pretty genetically inclined to be crafty.  My mom was the macrame queen (yes, I grew up in the 70’s) and my sister could scrapbook and sew dresses in her sleep.

Being the not-so-crafty-mom, I learned a few lessons today:

1.  It’s OK if you don’t get it right the first time.  Just like anything there is a learning curve.  While some things come very easy to me (I can cook up a gourmet meal like nobody’s business using only ingredients that I have on-hand and never need a recipe), it is just fine if I struggle with a few things here and there.

2.  I am creative.  Maybe I’m not the mom the creates the fun things that go on Pinterest, but I can adapt anything to fit my personality and lifestyle.  And that still makes me feel like I have a teeny-tiny creative bone within me.

3.  I’m not, have never been, or ever will be the mom who can make a memory book, darn a sock, til the garden, and make a pot roast from scratch all before the kids get home from school.  Working outside the home gives me a little more of an excuse, but even when I was a SAHM, I didn’t do those things.  I’ve learned to accept it and focus on my positive mommy/wifey skills.  Besides, I can wear 3″ heels to a field trip and still keep up with twenty 12-year-olds with no problem!

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These are the Valentines that Autumn chose to make for her class party.

What are your strengths?  What can you do better than anyone you know?  Focus on those and be happy with what you do and are!  And maybe in the midst of it, try something new.  You never know what you can accomplish, even if you think you’d never be “that girl.”

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525, 600 minutes.

I realize this has been a day of reflection for most of the world. As we look back on 2011 and remember things that were accomplished and memories that were made. Good and bad habits that may have just begun or happily ended. I look back on 2011 as an uneventful year.

Not uneventful in the way most people would think. Uneventful because my family didn’t have a lot of big change. In the 14 years that Duane and I have been married, we usually have some kind of a show-stopping, life-changing thing that happens. New job. New house. New car. Not are all good. We’ve been though job losses. My mom passing away. And losing an unborn baby. Good or bad, we’ve pretty much run the gamut.

This year however, was uneventful because of the lack of change that happened in our marriage. But 2011 held some huge changes for me, personally. I had a lot of “I am Woman, Hear Me Roar” moments. Here they are in no particular order.

1. I went to LA by myself! Twice! This may not be super huge for some people, but for someone with a huge fear of flying and the never-ending thought of my plane plunging to the ground resulting in my demise, this was a really big step for me. Both trips resulted in me feeling a little more confident about who I am and where I want my life to go.

2. I started a blog. Again, not huge for some people, but for a non-writer, non-creative like myself, my blog has been a huge turning point for me. I realized that I am comfortable stepping out of my happy homemaker box and finding a creative outlet that doesn’t seem very mom-ish. Thank you to everyone who reads and subscribes. You make me feel like I have something important to say that isn’t aimed at the stylings of a preschooler.

3. I went back to work. Another huge step in the life of a stay at home mom. I took the plunge to find something more than scrubbing toilets and wiping noses. Granted, I still do both of those and more, but I feel like I have found something for myself that I enjoy, my husband likes to brag about, and my kids take pride in. To me, a huge win.

4. I grew back my green-thumb. My garden was happily restarted, a little late in the season, however, but still flourished to my happiness. I also managed to can and freeze most of my crops. Yes, little Suzy Homemaker still exists and thrives in her suburban home.

So, how do you measure a year in the life? 525, 600 minutes doesn’t seem like much time, but in this last year of my life, I have accomplished much. And much happiness has been had during this season. I hope and pray that this next year will welcome such change as 2011.

The SAHM’s eternal question: Now what?

Maybe I should rephrase this into, my eternal question.  But from what I’ve learned from friends and social media, most moms feel this way.

This was my favorite book as a little girl and what helped me know that I wanted to be a mommy.

When I was a little girl, I vividly remember day dreaming about being a mommy.  Doing laundry and hanging it to dry on the clothes line outside.  Walking to the grocery store with my baby in a buggy, the sun beating down on us.  Quietly knitting in my rocking chair while my little ones played together in the living room.  Even as I got older and held a full-time job, I dreamed about what my kids would look like, what their names would be, how many would I have, and how far apart would they be in age.  If life was really like this, who wouldn’t want to be a stay-at-home-mom?

And then I had a baby!  Life was pure bliss!  We did take long walks in the sun.  I became crafty.  I was mommy machine.  Yes, this is what I always dreamed of!  But life wasn’t quite complete.  Duane and I decided to build our family.  Just a little.  19 moths after Audrey, we had baby #2.  My long relaxing visits with the sun and stroller became fewer and far between.  My craft skills got packed away in my craft trunk.  The mommy machine became tired.  What happened to the memories and dreams of my childhood?

Slowly but surely, I came out of my mommy-coma and started taking care of myself again.  It seemed like a long process.  In the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t, but at the time, it felt like a forever.  Our little family of 4 bought a house, added two more kids plus a dog and a cat.  We were big and busy.  I learned how to grow a garden, can my goods and cook like a gourmet.  Yes, life was good again!  But still something felt like it was missing.  Just a little piece of myself.  Even though I had what I had ALWAYS dreamed of,  I felt deprived.  I couldn’t figure out why.

Thank God for God!  I put all of my hopes, dreams, and desires into what HE wanted for me.  I learned to be happy.  Take pride in everything I did.  After all, He created me.  I needed to be the best me I could be.  Even though I couldn’t quite understand why I felt like something was missing.  I had it all.

After I learned to actually trust God the way that I knew I should, He began to fill me up with what I needed to feel complete.  He revealed to me what was missing.  It felt so good to trust God and to know that I was doing what he wanted me to do.

I still feel a little envious of the “do-it-all-mommy’s.”  You know the kind that get up at the crack of dawn to make eggs and pancakes for breakfast, iron everyone’s clothes before school, have a spot-less house, car, and yard, plus crafts for the kids after school activities, 4 course dinner, and games before bed. That was the mom I thought I was supposed to be.

But I’m glad that’s not me.  Because just the thought of all of that sounds exhausting.  Yes, I still love to garden and can and craft and cook.  But my life doesn’t revolve around my kids.  It revolves with them. And everyone seems to like things this way!

Now, pass me my gym membership and glass of wine and I’m a happy mommy!

This is my…. Oh, what’s it called, you know, when it’s your first time trying something?

Well, whatever it is, this is mine. My very first blog post! I have to say that I’m a little nervous. I really don’t know why. Maybe I’m worried that I won’t have anything to say. Or worse, no one will listen. Either way, this is my chance to help moms be the best that they can be without losing themselves. I know that might sound a bit cliche’, but that’s truly how I feel. I’ve been a mom now for over 12 years. During that time, I’ve tried to hold down multiple part time jobs, lose weight, fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes, try out the easiest meal plans for my family, plant and grow gardens, can my harvest from said garden, try new workout fads, made cards and crafts, decorating, wear 4″ heels at the playground while pushing my 2 year old in the swing, and the list goes on and on. I’ve made the mistakes and had the victories. I’m not a writer by any stretch of the imagination, but my goal is to help all moms find themselves while also loving their families and doing what they feel God has called them to do. For me, I remember, at the age of 6, helping my mom in the garden of our Seattle craftsman style home while dreaming about being a mom. When I became a mom to my beautiful daughter 12 years ago, it was truly one of the best moments in my life. Finally, I was doing what I was meant to do! Thank you, God! But in that process, I also found that I lost the person that my husband fell in love with. I took care of my baby and my husband, and not myself. I had a spotless house, beautiful flower beds, recipes to die for, but I wasn’t all there. I became unhealthy, a little stressed, what if something went wrong? 12 years and 4 kids later, I realized that the most important person I had to take care of was me. If I took care of myself, everything else would fall in place. We’ve all heard this before, but is it really true? YES! I’m proof! Now, let me be clear. While I “take care of myself first,” I don’t let my house go to hell. My children don’t go to school in dirty clothes and half made lunches. My husband doesn’t warm up Hungry Man meals from the freezer for dinner, although he might like that sometimes. But when you take care of yourself, you want more and more to take care of everything else. You want to be that better woman, wife, mom. I hope that I can help you on your journey. So, hold on and let’s try this together! Thanks for reading. OH WAIT, it’s a maiden voyage!